Thursday, January 19, 2012

RADICAL ROCK’S REVIEW – BAD TEACHER

RADICAL ROCK’S REVIEW – BAD TEACHER

I don’t feel dirty
Or
Does Cameron Diaz really need bigger tits?

For extra credit: Bad Teacher was -
(a) Truly Warped
(b) Well worthy of its R rating
(c) The funniest movie I’ve seen in theatres this year so far
(d) All of the above
(e) South America

I was worried that this movie wouldn’t live up to the legacy of its “bad” predecessor Bad Santa. That worry was alleviated early on when Ms Diaz announced she was going to do “something” to “somebody’s” “something” like she was mad at it (have fun with that mad lib). She stayed true to that character throughout the movie. Some of my favorite comedies are the ones where the main characters don’t have to “learn something today” as Stan Marsh would say (or was that Kyle?). There was no growth in Animal House. The Marx Brothers didn’t become better human beings by the end of Duck Soup. Borat moved back home and married a hooker. Sometimes that self-discovery character arch gets in the way of a good comedy. No worries about that here. As a result, the comedy is allowed to flow raw and raucous from beginning to end. This movie is unrepentantly funny. No moral lesson here. Just funny.

Cameron Diaz plays a teacher who wants money to make her boobies bigger to attract substitute teacher Justin Timberlake. That’s about all you need to know. She’s never been funnier and she’s never been sexier.

This was the second movie in the last year that had a scene dedicated to dry humping. And, this movie really milked it for all it’s worth. This reminds me, I hate Justin. It’s not fair for someone to be that good looking, sing that well, act that well and be that funny. DAMN YOU TIMBERLAKE! And, you even got to rip off Janet Jackson’s clothes on national T.V.? Your soul is in a jar in hell, it has to be! Either there or at the Disney archives. If there’s a difference between the two. Seriously, I’ve got to give JT kudos for being willing to look the ass for a laugh. In fact, all of the casting was amazing. From Jason Segel to Phyllis Smith (from The Office) to John Michael Higgins (from all those Christopher Guest movies). But, especially Lucy Punch as Amy Squirrel who played the role of the anal retentive, neurotic priss to insane perfection.

Much had been said about Bridesmaids before this movie came out. About how Bridesmaids was one of the funniest movies in a long while, and how it took the idea of a “Chick Flick” and turned it into something men could enjoy too. I would proffer that Bad Teacher, which is definitely Cameron Diaz’ movie (and if you didn’t notice, she is most assuredly a Chick) is ultimately funnier, more satisfying and better geared at bridging that gender gap.

The slow motion scene where she washed the car didn’t hurt my eyes either.

Prime’s Bottom Line – The answer is (e) South America. In 1632, Paolo De La Cruz decided that “his” America would be separated from the northern half. He then created the stretch known as Central America using clay and maize (what the gringos called corn) to form an umbilical landmass. He decided to name his new continent after his Kindergarten teacher Beatrice South, who was reported to be the worst teacher who ever lived.

If you got this question correct, add 0.5 points to your final score. This will be graded on a curve.

No comments: