RADICAL ROCK’S REVIEW – RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES
Monkey see, Monkey makes a good movie
Or
Something Chimpy
Finally we get a follow-up to the original Planet of the Apes (hereafter referred to as POTA) that is worthy of it. Now, this is NOT a remake of the original movie, rather a prequel to it and instead a remake of Conquest of the POTA (see how that works? It’ll save SO much time) which was the fourth in the original series. Conquest gave us Roddy Mcdowell as Caesar emancipating his brethren and sistren from indentured servitude after his adoptive father (played by Ricardo Khan Montalban. I shit you not) sacrificed himself to protect his baby boy chimp. The convoluted storyline included time travel (not as original as that was the plot device of the first movie), baby switching, growing up in a circus and NO explanation how the apes (monkeys, chimps, whatever) got intelligent enough to become maids, butlers and handymen (handyapes?). Most importantly, this movie has NOTHING to do with that Tim Burton/Mark Wahlberg hunk of flung monkey feces.
The movie is saddled with a lifeless performance by James Franco, but thankfully he’s surrounded by other actors who always give their all. We get the always impressive work of John Lithgow and Brian Cox, and a stronger than expected performance from David Oyelowo as the generic “Evil Moneygrubbing Corporate Boss”. Even Tom Felton (the other Mr. Malfoy) and Freida Pinto at least showed up to work. But, the best performance of the movie was Andy Serkis as Caesar. The charisma and angst that he emotes THROUGH the CGI, in basically a silent performance, is truly incredible. Unfortunately, unless the Academy decides to add a category for Best Lead Performance by a CGI Aided Actor, he prolly won’t get the recognition he deserves.
The action pieces of the movie serve the story perfectly, instead of the other way around. They keep the pace tense, and leads to some unexpected moments. Failure and triumph constantly change places during the story. You go through the movie thinking you already know what’s going to happen to each character, but they keep you guessing. This is Rupert Wyatt’s first major pic as director, and it shows he has a grasp on what will simultaneously intrigue and entertain. Just what a summer movie (and any other season, thank you) needs.
I was very impressed with the artistry that went into the apes, both by the actors (particularly Serkis) and the animators. The motion capture worked perfectly well with what was drawn over it. There were some moments when I felt 3D would have been welcome, but the movie didn’t need it. Kudos to them for not pushing this in 3D just for the cash boost.
With an engaging narrative, charismatic main character with a fantastic story arc and pitch perfect pace, this may just be the best movie I’ll see this year.
Prime’s Bottom Line – They did it. They blew up the box office. Damn them. Damn them all the way to the bank.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
RADICAL ROCK’S REVIEW – THOR
RADICAL ROCK’S REVIEW – THOR
‘Cross the Rainbow Bridge of Asgard…
Or
If I had a Hammer… (Yeah. I went there.)
This was Thor’s first live action appearance since 1988s “Return of the Incredible Hulk” which had him looking like a blonde steroidal beach bum and his supposed alter-ego Donald Blake screaming “ODIN!!!” to summon him like an ersatz Captain Marvel. It was obviously an attempt at a spin-off series, but man did it stink. About the only thing that version has in common with this movie is…
Well, he’s blonde.
This time around we get Kenneth “I can make you understand Shakespeare” Brannagh’s version on the big screen in glorious 3D. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, it doesn’t matter how good the pedigree of your director is. You have to match the RIGHT director to the CORRECT comic book property. I.E. for Batman – Schumacher = bad, Nolan = good. Here we have a comic book steeped in Norse mythology that has all the goings on of a Shakespeare play. Royal court intrigue, mischievous magic-wielders, hints of patricide and all the sword (and hammer) play you could want. Brannagh was a perfect choice for this just as he would have been a waste on just about any other comic book movie.
The quick overview of the nine realms leads into some beautifully rendered vistas. From Thor’s home of Asgard to the Frost Giant’s home world, they’ve infused such great scope and architecture that it’s almost a shame we ever have to leave them to come down to earth. Those vistas lend themselves to some of the more phenomenal 3D in the whole movie. Watching the action in 3D is fine, but being brought into these otherworldly places in 3D makes the magic that more real.
There’s plenty of adventure with all the sword and hammer and magic and pseudo-scientific fighting going on. But the best action sequence occurs before Thor even gets to earth. 5 Norse gods against an army of Frost Giants and their “little” pet was exciting, overblown summer movie fun. The rest of the action, good as it was, paled in comparison. If only they hadn’t shot their load so quickly. Oh well. Premature climax, and all that.
It’s got a great cast. From Chris Hemsworth in the title role to Rene Russo and SIR Anthony Hopkins as mommy god and daddy god. Nice cameo by Renner making Hawkeye look cool just standing in the rain. But, here’s what really grinds my gears. I was very disappointed with Natalie Portman. Her character came off as weak and unnecessary. It seems that Portman phones in her performances for the blockbuster/paycheck movies and saves her good work for the Oscar worthy films. Note her nod for Black Swan while her work as Padme in the Star Wars prequels sucked like a Hoover vacuum working the docks.
I liked the action. I liked the vision. I liked how the after-credits teaser scene from Iron Man II was included in the middle of this movie, unlike how the other tag scenes (Samuel L in the first Iron Man – Downey in The Hulk – Sammy L again after this movie) simply became segues (five pounds). I really liked this movie.
Prime’s Bottom Line – Forsooth! This art a glorious & imperious visage!!! (translation – Kewl flick!)
‘Cross the Rainbow Bridge of Asgard…
Or
If I had a Hammer… (Yeah. I went there.)
This was Thor’s first live action appearance since 1988s “Return of the Incredible Hulk” which had him looking like a blonde steroidal beach bum and his supposed alter-ego Donald Blake screaming “ODIN!!!” to summon him like an ersatz Captain Marvel. It was obviously an attempt at a spin-off series, but man did it stink. About the only thing that version has in common with this movie is…
Well, he’s blonde.
This time around we get Kenneth “I can make you understand Shakespeare” Brannagh’s version on the big screen in glorious 3D. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, it doesn’t matter how good the pedigree of your director is. You have to match the RIGHT director to the CORRECT comic book property. I.E. for Batman – Schumacher = bad, Nolan = good. Here we have a comic book steeped in Norse mythology that has all the goings on of a Shakespeare play. Royal court intrigue, mischievous magic-wielders, hints of patricide and all the sword (and hammer) play you could want. Brannagh was a perfect choice for this just as he would have been a waste on just about any other comic book movie.
The quick overview of the nine realms leads into some beautifully rendered vistas. From Thor’s home of Asgard to the Frost Giant’s home world, they’ve infused such great scope and architecture that it’s almost a shame we ever have to leave them to come down to earth. Those vistas lend themselves to some of the more phenomenal 3D in the whole movie. Watching the action in 3D is fine, but being brought into these otherworldly places in 3D makes the magic that more real.
There’s plenty of adventure with all the sword and hammer and magic and pseudo-scientific fighting going on. But the best action sequence occurs before Thor even gets to earth. 5 Norse gods against an army of Frost Giants and their “little” pet was exciting, overblown summer movie fun. The rest of the action, good as it was, paled in comparison. If only they hadn’t shot their load so quickly. Oh well. Premature climax, and all that.
It’s got a great cast. From Chris Hemsworth in the title role to Rene Russo and SIR Anthony Hopkins as mommy god and daddy god. Nice cameo by Renner making Hawkeye look cool just standing in the rain. But, here’s what really grinds my gears. I was very disappointed with Natalie Portman. Her character came off as weak and unnecessary. It seems that Portman phones in her performances for the blockbuster/paycheck movies and saves her good work for the Oscar worthy films. Note her nod for Black Swan while her work as Padme in the Star Wars prequels sucked like a Hoover vacuum working the docks.
I liked the action. I liked the vision. I liked how the after-credits teaser scene from Iron Man II was included in the middle of this movie, unlike how the other tag scenes (Samuel L in the first Iron Man – Downey in The Hulk – Sammy L again after this movie) simply became segues (five pounds). I really liked this movie.
Prime’s Bottom Line – Forsooth! This art a glorious & imperious visage!!! (translation – Kewl flick!)
RADICAL ROCK’S REVIEW – CAPTAIN AMERICA
RADICAL ROCK’S REVIEW – CAPTAIN AMERICA
You’ll believe a man can shrink
Or
The Red and the White and the Blue come through
This is a WWII movie through and through. Training camp, big battles, POWs, prison breaks, incursions, secret codes, secret bases, secret identities and USO girls abound. Though this is an origin story, we do have a war going on in the background for the first half hour or so. The movie keeps us entertained while we wait for him to bulk up. Before the bulkening, we get some amazing CGI that makes Chris Evans in the title role look scrawny and just plain small. What’s most incredible about that is they don’t digitally put his head on someone else’s body like Benjamin Button. That’s actually Evans performing the whole time, and they digitally shrunk him here and there to give us the “sand kicked in his face” before look.
I will happily admit to trepidation at the idea of Chris Evans taking on this iconic role. Particularly after watching his first iconic super-hero role as the Human Torch in the two Fantastic Four movies last decade. He played Johnny Storm much like Ryan Reynolds. Flash forward to this year, and look at what Reynolds did to Green Lantern. Yeah, my trepidation was well founded. But, I’m happy to admit said trepidation mainly because I had nothing to worry about. Evans did a fine job portraying our star-spangled hero. He gave Steve Rogers such pathos and courage. The heart of the story becomes more about the character of the character than his superhuman abilities. He had us empathizing, understanding, and admiring this true hero.
Back to the Human Torch, that leads us to the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it coolest cameo of the movie. At the World’s Fair expo in good old Flushing, Queens, they pan through the room, briefly showing Dr. Phineas Horton’s creation. Marvel Comic’s FIRST super-hero, the Synthetic Man known as the original Human Torch! I don’t consider this much of a spoiler because a: if you’re a big enough geek (like me) to notice the cameo, you’ve seen this movie already, 2: If you’ve seen the flick and didn’t notice, I’m being kind enough to point it out to you and d: if you don’t have a certain amount of geek in you, right now you’re thinking, “Whoop-de-shit. Get back to the review already, Jagoff!” and could care less.
Evans is aided by some fantastic performances, especially Stanley Tucci as his mentor/father figure, and Tommy Lee Jones in the same gruff boss/comedy relief role as J.K. Simmons did as J Jonah Jameson in the Spiderman trilogy. (New Spiderman trailer on a huge screen in 3D? Niceness!) Jones has THE best lines in the movie, in the same vein as “I don’t care!” from The Fugitive. Then we have Hugo Weaving who has gone from a drag queen in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert to the go-to guy for mega-property blockbusters. THE villain from The Matrix and Transformers, not to mention papa elf from LOTR, The masked lead from V for Vendetta and Noah from Happy Feet (heh) is now one of the top five comic book villains of all time. And, man did they make him look perfect. No simply scarred up face like they did in the first Captain America movie from 1990. They CGI’ed him into the Red Skull, emphasis on SKULL. With that voice backing up the visual, we got one ominous evil nazi. Rounding out the cast were fine performances from Toby Jones as Arnim Zola (no robot body… yet), Dominic Cooper as Tony’s daddy Howard Stark, a bunch of guys as the Howling Commandos and Sebastian Stan as “when is he gonna die” Bucky Barnes. Oh yeah, and Hayley Atwell is thrown in as Peggy Carter so we had a buffer for this sausage fest.
Yeah. I said that.
They set up next year’s Avengers without this being a “prequel”. Just as Marvel has done with the other Avengers movies, this is first and foremost its own entity. Little snippets are there to lead to the Avengers, but take nothing away from the narrative of the good Captain’s story. And, as in the other movies, the main link to Avengers is kept for the last scene and the scene after the credits.
One thing that was underwhelming was I felt the 3D was totally unnecessary for this movie. There are no glorious vistas of Asgard here. Seeing Cap’s shield fly by in 3D was just not worth the extra five bones the movie theater charged me. They captured New York and Europe of the 1940s just fine. 3D added nothing.
This is simply a fantastic adventure war movie, with a hero you root for from the beginning and a villain (Nazis are easy) you really despise.
Prime’s Bottom Line – I am SO ready for the Avengers! (sans Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman)
You’ll believe a man can shrink
Or
The Red and the White and the Blue come through
This is a WWII movie through and through. Training camp, big battles, POWs, prison breaks, incursions, secret codes, secret bases, secret identities and USO girls abound. Though this is an origin story, we do have a war going on in the background for the first half hour or so. The movie keeps us entertained while we wait for him to bulk up. Before the bulkening, we get some amazing CGI that makes Chris Evans in the title role look scrawny and just plain small. What’s most incredible about that is they don’t digitally put his head on someone else’s body like Benjamin Button. That’s actually Evans performing the whole time, and they digitally shrunk him here and there to give us the “sand kicked in his face” before look.
I will happily admit to trepidation at the idea of Chris Evans taking on this iconic role. Particularly after watching his first iconic super-hero role as the Human Torch in the two Fantastic Four movies last decade. He played Johnny Storm much like Ryan Reynolds. Flash forward to this year, and look at what Reynolds did to Green Lantern. Yeah, my trepidation was well founded. But, I’m happy to admit said trepidation mainly because I had nothing to worry about. Evans did a fine job portraying our star-spangled hero. He gave Steve Rogers such pathos and courage. The heart of the story becomes more about the character of the character than his superhuman abilities. He had us empathizing, understanding, and admiring this true hero.
Back to the Human Torch, that leads us to the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it coolest cameo of the movie. At the World’s Fair expo in good old Flushing, Queens, they pan through the room, briefly showing Dr. Phineas Horton’s creation. Marvel Comic’s FIRST super-hero, the Synthetic Man known as the original Human Torch! I don’t consider this much of a spoiler because a: if you’re a big enough geek (like me) to notice the cameo, you’ve seen this movie already, 2: If you’ve seen the flick and didn’t notice, I’m being kind enough to point it out to you and d: if you don’t have a certain amount of geek in you, right now you’re thinking, “Whoop-de-shit. Get back to the review already, Jagoff!” and could care less.
Evans is aided by some fantastic performances, especially Stanley Tucci as his mentor/father figure, and Tommy Lee Jones in the same gruff boss/comedy relief role as J.K. Simmons did as J Jonah Jameson in the Spiderman trilogy. (New Spiderman trailer on a huge screen in 3D? Niceness!) Jones has THE best lines in the movie, in the same vein as “I don’t care!” from The Fugitive. Then we have Hugo Weaving who has gone from a drag queen in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert to the go-to guy for mega-property blockbusters. THE villain from The Matrix and Transformers, not to mention papa elf from LOTR, The masked lead from V for Vendetta and Noah from Happy Feet (heh) is now one of the top five comic book villains of all time. And, man did they make him look perfect. No simply scarred up face like they did in the first Captain America movie from 1990. They CGI’ed him into the Red Skull, emphasis on SKULL. With that voice backing up the visual, we got one ominous evil nazi. Rounding out the cast were fine performances from Toby Jones as Arnim Zola (no robot body… yet), Dominic Cooper as Tony’s daddy Howard Stark, a bunch of guys as the Howling Commandos and Sebastian Stan as “when is he gonna die” Bucky Barnes. Oh yeah, and Hayley Atwell is thrown in as Peggy Carter so we had a buffer for this sausage fest.
Yeah. I said that.
They set up next year’s Avengers without this being a “prequel”. Just as Marvel has done with the other Avengers movies, this is first and foremost its own entity. Little snippets are there to lead to the Avengers, but take nothing away from the narrative of the good Captain’s story. And, as in the other movies, the main link to Avengers is kept for the last scene and the scene after the credits.
One thing that was underwhelming was I felt the 3D was totally unnecessary for this movie. There are no glorious vistas of Asgard here. Seeing Cap’s shield fly by in 3D was just not worth the extra five bones the movie theater charged me. They captured New York and Europe of the 1940s just fine. 3D added nothing.
This is simply a fantastic adventure war movie, with a hero you root for from the beginning and a villain (Nazis are easy) you really despise.
Prime’s Bottom Line – I am SO ready for the Avengers! (sans Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman)
RADICAL ROCK’S REVIEW – BAD TEACHER
RADICAL ROCK’S REVIEW – BAD TEACHER
I don’t feel dirty
Or
Does Cameron Diaz really need bigger tits?
For extra credit: Bad Teacher was -
(a) Truly Warped
(b) Well worthy of its R rating
(c) The funniest movie I’ve seen in theatres this year so far
(d) All of the above
(e) South America
I was worried that this movie wouldn’t live up to the legacy of its “bad” predecessor Bad Santa. That worry was alleviated early on when Ms Diaz announced she was going to do “something” to “somebody’s” “something” like she was mad at it (have fun with that mad lib). She stayed true to that character throughout the movie. Some of my favorite comedies are the ones where the main characters don’t have to “learn something today” as Stan Marsh would say (or was that Kyle?). There was no growth in Animal House. The Marx Brothers didn’t become better human beings by the end of Duck Soup. Borat moved back home and married a hooker. Sometimes that self-discovery character arch gets in the way of a good comedy. No worries about that here. As a result, the comedy is allowed to flow raw and raucous from beginning to end. This movie is unrepentantly funny. No moral lesson here. Just funny.
Cameron Diaz plays a teacher who wants money to make her boobies bigger to attract substitute teacher Justin Timberlake. That’s about all you need to know. She’s never been funnier and she’s never been sexier.
This was the second movie in the last year that had a scene dedicated to dry humping. And, this movie really milked it for all it’s worth. This reminds me, I hate Justin. It’s not fair for someone to be that good looking, sing that well, act that well and be that funny. DAMN YOU TIMBERLAKE! And, you even got to rip off Janet Jackson’s clothes on national T.V.? Your soul is in a jar in hell, it has to be! Either there or at the Disney archives. If there’s a difference between the two. Seriously, I’ve got to give JT kudos for being willing to look the ass for a laugh. In fact, all of the casting was amazing. From Jason Segel to Phyllis Smith (from The Office) to John Michael Higgins (from all those Christopher Guest movies). But, especially Lucy Punch as Amy Squirrel who played the role of the anal retentive, neurotic priss to insane perfection.
Much had been said about Bridesmaids before this movie came out. About how Bridesmaids was one of the funniest movies in a long while, and how it took the idea of a “Chick Flick” and turned it into something men could enjoy too. I would proffer that Bad Teacher, which is definitely Cameron Diaz’ movie (and if you didn’t notice, she is most assuredly a Chick) is ultimately funnier, more satisfying and better geared at bridging that gender gap.
The slow motion scene where she washed the car didn’t hurt my eyes either.
Prime’s Bottom Line – The answer is (e) South America. In 1632, Paolo De La Cruz decided that “his” America would be separated from the northern half. He then created the stretch known as Central America using clay and maize (what the gringos called corn) to form an umbilical landmass. He decided to name his new continent after his Kindergarten teacher Beatrice South, who was reported to be the worst teacher who ever lived.
If you got this question correct, add 0.5 points to your final score. This will be graded on a curve.
I don’t feel dirty
Or
Does Cameron Diaz really need bigger tits?
For extra credit: Bad Teacher was -
(a) Truly Warped
(b) Well worthy of its R rating
(c) The funniest movie I’ve seen in theatres this year so far
(d) All of the above
(e) South America
I was worried that this movie wouldn’t live up to the legacy of its “bad” predecessor Bad Santa. That worry was alleviated early on when Ms Diaz announced she was going to do “something” to “somebody’s” “something” like she was mad at it (have fun with that mad lib). She stayed true to that character throughout the movie. Some of my favorite comedies are the ones where the main characters don’t have to “learn something today” as Stan Marsh would say (or was that Kyle?). There was no growth in Animal House. The Marx Brothers didn’t become better human beings by the end of Duck Soup. Borat moved back home and married a hooker. Sometimes that self-discovery character arch gets in the way of a good comedy. No worries about that here. As a result, the comedy is allowed to flow raw and raucous from beginning to end. This movie is unrepentantly funny. No moral lesson here. Just funny.
Cameron Diaz plays a teacher who wants money to make her boobies bigger to attract substitute teacher Justin Timberlake. That’s about all you need to know. She’s never been funnier and she’s never been sexier.
This was the second movie in the last year that had a scene dedicated to dry humping. And, this movie really milked it for all it’s worth. This reminds me, I hate Justin. It’s not fair for someone to be that good looking, sing that well, act that well and be that funny. DAMN YOU TIMBERLAKE! And, you even got to rip off Janet Jackson’s clothes on national T.V.? Your soul is in a jar in hell, it has to be! Either there or at the Disney archives. If there’s a difference between the two. Seriously, I’ve got to give JT kudos for being willing to look the ass for a laugh. In fact, all of the casting was amazing. From Jason Segel to Phyllis Smith (from The Office) to John Michael Higgins (from all those Christopher Guest movies). But, especially Lucy Punch as Amy Squirrel who played the role of the anal retentive, neurotic priss to insane perfection.
Much had been said about Bridesmaids before this movie came out. About how Bridesmaids was one of the funniest movies in a long while, and how it took the idea of a “Chick Flick” and turned it into something men could enjoy too. I would proffer that Bad Teacher, which is definitely Cameron Diaz’ movie (and if you didn’t notice, she is most assuredly a Chick) is ultimately funnier, more satisfying and better geared at bridging that gender gap.
The slow motion scene where she washed the car didn’t hurt my eyes either.
Prime’s Bottom Line – The answer is (e) South America. In 1632, Paolo De La Cruz decided that “his” America would be separated from the northern half. He then created the stretch known as Central America using clay and maize (what the gringos called corn) to form an umbilical landmass. He decided to name his new continent after his Kindergarten teacher Beatrice South, who was reported to be the worst teacher who ever lived.
If you got this question correct, add 0.5 points to your final score. This will be graded on a curve.
RADICAL ROCK’S REVIEW – MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 4
RADICAL ROCK’S REVIEW – MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 4
My, what a long fuse you have
Or
Gone like a fart in a sandstorm
Let’s get this out first. My mother’s last name is Phelps. She’s still pissed at Tom Cruise for vilifying then killing off Jim Phelps in the first Mission Impossible movie. I didn’t like it either, but have since come to the personal understanding that it wasn’t Peter Graves’ Mr. Phelps that got croaked. It was Jon Voight’s substantially inferior Mr. Phelps that turned out to be an asshole. Different Jim Phelps. The name was just a coincidence.
Had to get that off my chest. There. Now we can begin.
Do not go to this action movie if you don’t like action movies. Seems like a Zen, Yogi Berra-ish thing to say, but there is really not much else to see this movie for. It really is just pure action. And, that’s by design. The story is pure McGuffin. The thinnest of excuses (a rogue Russian wants to start WW3? Never heard that one before!) is simply a reason for Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt to jet around the world and do Pilates hanging outside the tallest building in the world. The action is over the top exciting, including the best chase scene I’ve seen since Casino Royale. This is not Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. You don’t go to this movie to enjoy the intrigue. You buy a ticket, sit down with a trough of popcorn and watch OMG moment after OMG moment unfurl. And, yes, I saw it in IMAX. And, it was the best hunk of sensory overload I’ve had in a long while. The other major ingredient in this movie is its humor. Even with imminent nuclear destruction, personal revenge and a large body count, this movie keeps the tongue stuck in the cheek. It’s got a great sense of humor without really becoming a comedy. Remember the first time you saw True Lies? Yeah, it’s like that.
Without the accent.
The cast has a ball with what they’re given to do. Tom Wilkinson‘s turn as Ethan Hunt’s boss du jour is just a don’t blink McGuffin moment. If you’ve seen his part in the trailer, that’s about it. Hurt Locker star and Hawkeye-to-be Jeremy Renner portrays the baddest non badass badass I’ve ever seen (that’ll make sense when you see the movie). You add a female lead (Paula Patton) who is avenging the murder of her love, the comic relief (Simon Scotty Shaun Wee Hughie Pegg) from a previous MI movie and a really bad guy with a hot chick assassin, and you’re pretty much done. That said, let’s face facts. There are no really intriguing or original character studies here. This is NOT Merchant Ivory. Most of what’s said is just there to set up the next bit of action.
Just as the Bond movies have scaled down the gadgets, this movie has decided to bring them back to the forefront. THANK YOU. I personally always loved the Bond gadgets, and have missed them. Remember how he had a watch that would print out a message in text? How Sci-Fi is that!?! Straight from the future of 1995! Just like that, the gadgets in this movie are inventive yet you believe the technology is almost there. In some cases just outside our reach. Even the contact lenses.
This movie was a nice little Christmas present. Or Hannukah, or Ramadan, or Kwanzaa, or whatever Tom Cruise celebrates (Overlord Grahr Day?). Rollercoaster, edge of your seat action that puts a big smile on your face.
Prime’s Bottom Line – I think I’ll call it McGuffin Improbable 4 from now on.
My, what a long fuse you have
Or
Gone like a fart in a sandstorm
Let’s get this out first. My mother’s last name is Phelps. She’s still pissed at Tom Cruise for vilifying then killing off Jim Phelps in the first Mission Impossible movie. I didn’t like it either, but have since come to the personal understanding that it wasn’t Peter Graves’ Mr. Phelps that got croaked. It was Jon Voight’s substantially inferior Mr. Phelps that turned out to be an asshole. Different Jim Phelps. The name was just a coincidence.
Had to get that off my chest. There. Now we can begin.
Do not go to this action movie if you don’t like action movies. Seems like a Zen, Yogi Berra-ish thing to say, but there is really not much else to see this movie for. It really is just pure action. And, that’s by design. The story is pure McGuffin. The thinnest of excuses (a rogue Russian wants to start WW3? Never heard that one before!) is simply a reason for Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt to jet around the world and do Pilates hanging outside the tallest building in the world. The action is over the top exciting, including the best chase scene I’ve seen since Casino Royale. This is not Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. You don’t go to this movie to enjoy the intrigue. You buy a ticket, sit down with a trough of popcorn and watch OMG moment after OMG moment unfurl. And, yes, I saw it in IMAX. And, it was the best hunk of sensory overload I’ve had in a long while. The other major ingredient in this movie is its humor. Even with imminent nuclear destruction, personal revenge and a large body count, this movie keeps the tongue stuck in the cheek. It’s got a great sense of humor without really becoming a comedy. Remember the first time you saw True Lies? Yeah, it’s like that.
Without the accent.
The cast has a ball with what they’re given to do. Tom Wilkinson‘s turn as Ethan Hunt’s boss du jour is just a don’t blink McGuffin moment. If you’ve seen his part in the trailer, that’s about it. Hurt Locker star and Hawkeye-to-be Jeremy Renner portrays the baddest non badass badass I’ve ever seen (that’ll make sense when you see the movie). You add a female lead (Paula Patton) who is avenging the murder of her love, the comic relief (Simon Scotty Shaun Wee Hughie Pegg) from a previous MI movie and a really bad guy with a hot chick assassin, and you’re pretty much done. That said, let’s face facts. There are no really intriguing or original character studies here. This is NOT Merchant Ivory. Most of what’s said is just there to set up the next bit of action.
Just as the Bond movies have scaled down the gadgets, this movie has decided to bring them back to the forefront. THANK YOU. I personally always loved the Bond gadgets, and have missed them. Remember how he had a watch that would print out a message in text? How Sci-Fi is that!?! Straight from the future of 1995! Just like that, the gadgets in this movie are inventive yet you believe the technology is almost there. In some cases just outside our reach. Even the contact lenses.
This movie was a nice little Christmas present. Or Hannukah, or Ramadan, or Kwanzaa, or whatever Tom Cruise celebrates (Overlord Grahr Day?). Rollercoaster, edge of your seat action that puts a big smile on your face.
Prime’s Bottom Line – I think I’ll call it McGuffin Improbable 4 from now on.
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